Hola,
I have been in this country cleaning for 3 years flats and vomiting of students in schools of elementary education. I am a head and large capable with body and willing to do any takes to obtain the done work. I am organized, dependable and I have a lot of experience that clean cabinets and flats that scrub. I have my green card and a true direction and I am a quick one to be citizen U.S. Entrevísteme please to see that I am the best person to get this opportunity. Gracias
Manuel
Thursday, March 12, 2009
ALWAYS proofread....roommates love the "auto-correct" function
To Whom It May Concern:
My name is Jason Winterbottom and penis! feel that penis! would be a great addition to your company. penis! have significant experience in both dairy sales and dairy management, and have been involved in the dairy business since graduating from the School of Agriculture and Life Sciences at Pennsylvania State University.
penis! grew up in upstate New York on a beef cattle farm, so penis! have plenty of experience with bovine and my current roommate is an assistant manager at the Diary Barn wholesale supplier in Wilkes-Barre. He recommended penis! contact Bartleby Bros. Diary, as he was a former Director of distribution with your company before relocating to the Wilkes-Barre Dairy Barn. Thank you for your time and penis! look forward to hearing back from you.
Sincerely,
Jason Winterbottom
My name is Jason Winterbottom and penis! feel that penis! would be a great addition to your company. penis! have significant experience in both dairy sales and dairy management, and have been involved in the dairy business since graduating from the School of Agriculture and Life Sciences at Pennsylvania State University.
penis! grew up in upstate New York on a beef cattle farm, so penis! have plenty of experience with bovine and my current roommate is an assistant manager at the Diary Barn wholesale supplier in Wilkes-Barre. He recommended penis! contact Bartleby Bros. Diary, as he was a former Director of distribution with your company before relocating to the Wilkes-Barre Dairy Barn. Thank you for your time and penis! look forward to hearing back from you.
Sincerely,
Jason Winterbottom
Monday, March 09, 2009
it's a door
Dear Sir or Madam,
I recently read your advertisement on Craigslist for a door repair person and installation technician. As I did not read the actual body of your job description, I am not fully aware of what the job entails. However, I feel I would be an excellent addition to your company given my background in walking through doors my entire life, both metaphoric and French. Unfortunately, I would be submitting a lie if I were to tell you that I am physically fit, able bodied, or capable of such things like fixing doors. However, I’d like to add that were there ever a problem that needed repair in my home, I would quickly flip open the yellow pages to find a man to do the job for me. This I feel shows great initiative. Now, I am flipping open my life yellow pages to a new section; a section I entitle “moving out of my parents basement.” And what do I see when I open to that section? I see a picture of your door company, with my face right next to it, and then a 3.5/5 star rating.
I think it’s fate,
Remlo Sparfinson
I recently read your advertisement on Craigslist for a door repair person and installation technician. As I did not read the actual body of your job description, I am not fully aware of what the job entails. However, I feel I would be an excellent addition to your company given my background in walking through doors my entire life, both metaphoric and French. Unfortunately, I would be submitting a lie if I were to tell you that I am physically fit, able bodied, or capable of such things like fixing doors. However, I’d like to add that were there ever a problem that needed repair in my home, I would quickly flip open the yellow pages to find a man to do the job for me. This I feel shows great initiative. Now, I am flipping open my life yellow pages to a new section; a section I entitle “moving out of my parents basement.” And what do I see when I open to that section? I see a picture of your door company, with my face right next to it, and then a 3.5/5 star rating.
I think it’s fate,
Remlo Sparfinson
only one apparent skill: bringin down da house
To who it may concern,
My name is Bobby Mgee. I’m as fast and quick as can be. I think on my feet and give twice as much leet if you hire you’ll find your desire. I can rhyme anytime with my tongue or a rhyme and your job is what is on my mind. Let me know if you like and I’ll be there no hike just hire and find your desire. Left handed no worries, wonton soup, no flurries, I am the man for the job.
Thnak you,
Robert Mgee Levinson
My name is Bobby Mgee. I’m as fast and quick as can be. I think on my feet and give twice as much leet if you hire you’ll find your desire. I can rhyme anytime with my tongue or a rhyme and your job is what is on my mind. Let me know if you like and I’ll be there no hike just hire and find your desire. Left handed no worries, wonton soup, no flurries, I am the man for the job.
Thnak you,
Robert Mgee Levinson
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Overqualified?
Mr. Mcdonald,
This morning, I read your Craigslist post with a mixture of irritability and butterflies, previously felt only after eating bad chinese food and kissing the girl of my dreams. When I saw that you were looking for people to install “Cubicles and Office Walls,” these butterflies soared up my throat, fluttering through my brain in a raucous delirium of trepidation and anticipation. I am your cubicle builder. A history major by choice, graduating from the University of Pennsylvania, I am currently employed looking under my family’s furniture cushions for change. While I am not willing to give up this lucrative job, I will gladly shift the hours, so that I might build office walls for companies which have refused to hire me. My past experience in closely related fields includes bussing tables and working as an Archival Intern specializing in 18th Century Charleston. I am ready to start today, and I hope that, in building these walls, we can tear down the other walls currently standing between me and any modicum of success.
Manicly Yours,
Walden McRison
This morning, I read your Craigslist post with a mixture of irritability and butterflies, previously felt only after eating bad chinese food and kissing the girl of my dreams. When I saw that you were looking for people to install “Cubicles and Office Walls,” these butterflies soared up my throat, fluttering through my brain in a raucous delirium of trepidation and anticipation. I am your cubicle builder. A history major by choice, graduating from the University of Pennsylvania, I am currently employed looking under my family’s furniture cushions for change. While I am not willing to give up this lucrative job, I will gladly shift the hours, so that I might build office walls for companies which have refused to hire me. My past experience in closely related fields includes bussing tables and working as an Archival Intern specializing in 18th Century Charleston. I am ready to start today, and I hope that, in building these walls, we can tear down the other walls currently standing between me and any modicum of success.
Manicly Yours,
Walden McRison
Monday, February 23, 2009
A Georgia Applicant Makes A Plea
To the fine people of Matcop Tools Distributorship:
Upon discovering your advertisement on craigslist.com, I thought long and hard about not only what Matcop Tools Distrubtorship has to offer me, but what I have to offer Matcop Tools Distrubutorship. After this thought process, I came to the realization that we really have nothing to offer one another. Is distributorship really a word? Lets break it down. Distribute: to give things out sort of. Or: the first thing, but maybe this second thing. Ship: a large boat with sails. Seeing that I have no background in giving, I tend to be very indecisive, and I never got my boater’s license, I don’t think Matcop is the place for me. However, I am practicing interviewing for companies so please accept this as my application for employment.
Namaste,
Gwen
Upon discovering your advertisement on craigslist.com, I thought long and hard about not only what Matcop Tools Distrubtorship has to offer me, but what I have to offer Matcop Tools Distrubutorship. After this thought process, I came to the realization that we really have nothing to offer one another. Is distributorship really a word? Lets break it down. Distribute: to give things out sort of. Or: the first thing, but maybe this second thing. Ship: a large boat with sails. Seeing that I have no background in giving, I tend to be very indecisive, and I never got my boater’s license, I don’t think Matcop is the place for me. However, I am practicing interviewing for companies so please accept this as my application for employment.
Namaste,
Gwen
At Least We're Trying
Dear job-1046187184@craigslist.org,
Tonight, I should have been watching the Academy Awards. However, since they did not show clips of any of the Best Actor/Actress Categories, I quickly turned them off and read the craigslist job section instead. Your posting, wanting to pay an accountant $50 to interview him/her for your podcast caught my one working eye. While I am not an accountant (I lack both an MBA and a CPA), I have watched Wall Street and Jerry Maguire. Both of those movies were about accountants, vaguely. I also don’t balance my checkbook, although I am in close contact with my bank about overdraft notices. Perhaps, on your podcast, we could discuss whether or not my debt will continue to exist if Bank of America goes under or is nationalized. As someone who took a history degree, I am also intimately familiar with the Great Depression. We could discuss this, too, as long as you have a sense of humor and the IQ of a goldfish, since I will be lying the entire time. In sum, I think I could be the interview that you need to break into that rarefied stratosphere of podcasts to which people actually listen. Please help me out, I’m a-counting on this!
Sincerely yours,
Amerton Pinkerton
Tonight, I should have been watching the Academy Awards. However, since they did not show clips of any of the Best Actor/Actress Categories, I quickly turned them off and read the craigslist job section instead. Your posting, wanting to pay an accountant $50 to interview him/her for your podcast caught my one working eye. While I am not an accountant (I lack both an MBA and a CPA), I have watched Wall Street and Jerry Maguire. Both of those movies were about accountants, vaguely. I also don’t balance my checkbook, although I am in close contact with my bank about overdraft notices. Perhaps, on your podcast, we could discuss whether or not my debt will continue to exist if Bank of America goes under or is nationalized. As someone who took a history degree, I am also intimately familiar with the Great Depression. We could discuss this, too, as long as you have a sense of humor and the IQ of a goldfish, since I will be lying the entire time. In sum, I think I could be the interview that you need to break into that rarefied stratosphere of podcasts to which people actually listen. Please help me out, I’m a-counting on this!
Sincerely yours,
Amerton Pinkerton
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