Dear Leahy’s Bakery Manager,

I read your advertisement in the Annapolis Capital for a donut fryer with unrestrained glee. “Finally,” I thought, “A job that fits my college major and skillset.” I graduated from the University of Texas with degrees in History and Plan 2 Honors, a prestigious program that no one has heard of or cares about. As a history major, my area of specialty was post-colonial Britain; additionally, I wrote a thesis about strains of utilitarian individualism running through the middle class. While neither of these achievements has any bearing whatsoever on frying donuts, I still feel that they have prepared me well for working in your bakery. As a history major, I have become familiar with doing thankless work of a very dull nature while maintaining a professional demeanor and a chipper grin. I can tell our patrons about Britain’s crisis in the Falklands while I prepare a delectable, savory pastry which fulfills their caloric needs and my spiritual requirements as well. So what do you say? I hope you are ready for a donut fryer who brings his own elbow grease and is ready to make some dough!

Thanks so much,

Audren Platterton