To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing in response to your “WORRIED?!?!! ANXIOUS?!?!?” posting on Craigslist. As I scrolled through the etcetera section of my current homepage, your add jumped out at me as a potential great opportunity. Not only am I worried and anxious, but suicidal and depressed. We can focus on the first two for now. If you pick me for your research group, you can rest assure that I will be there every day, rain or shine, on time and ready to participate. I warn you, however, when things (people) come near me, I am prone to snapping. I use the term “snapping” loosely unfortunately. My anxiety has turned me into quite the schizo maniac. I will not hesitate to throw a punch, kick, scream, or even bite my enemies. I refer to my victims as enemies because over the past 15 or 20 years, my anxiety has paved the way for me to gain an unyielding hatred for the human race. Please take my case seriously when considering participants for your study. Thank you, and have a pleasant day.
Sincerely,
Rock Manther
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To whom it may concern:
I recently read your posting on blank. Last year, I graduated from blank with a major in blank and concentration in blank minorities. I have a passion for blank and I feel it would fit right in with your goal to achieve a higher blank with your blanks. I have blanked on several occasions and I feel that my experience blanking with cheese graders not only can contribute greatly to your blank, but also bring a fresh perspective on the blanking industry, especially with the kids! Please review my resume and feel free to contact me at your convenience for an interview. Thank you for your time and blank.
Sincerely,
Blank
In this depressing time, we've all sunk to a new low. You haven't received a call back from the donut shop yet, and you can't get the janitor's position without being in the union. You've lost your spouse, you're embarrassed to go out with your friends and you don't know what to say to your kids. There is one positive trait, however, that you have attained in this rough time: the ability to write a cover letter.
For Beginners...
To whom it may concern:
I recently read your posting on blank. Last year, I graduated from blank with a major in blank and concentration in blank minorities. I have a passion for blank and I feel it would fit right in with your goal to achieve a higher blank with your blanks. I have blanked on several occasions and I feel that my experience blanking with cheese graders not only can contribute greatly to your blank, but also bring a fresh perspective on the blanking industry, especially with the kids! Please review my resume and feel free to contact me at your convenience for an interview. Thank you for your time and blank.
Sincerely,
Blank
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